Okay, so they don’t really. But I’m hoping that you’ll be the first. Then again, only 35% of my day is actually spent writing. A completely accurate time sheet would show hour-long blocks marked off for things like:

“Came up with new and exciting ways to abuse the English language.”

“Figured out how to make a perfectly good piece of paper wish that its former life as a tree would have ended respectably in someone’s fire place.”

“I made my monitor cry pixelated tears.”

“Microsoft Word will no longer respond to my key strokes, and Outlook just sent me an official cease & desist notice from Redmond (through the U.S. Mail, oddly enough).”

My job is to think up literally hundreds of sloppy, pitiful, downright despicable ideas before coming to that really good one–the kind that grabs attention and has the potential to make you a lot of money. If that idea also turns out to be the one that you like,  I just might get some sleep at night.

This is Clockwork Crow. Please, have a look at a few ideas that were so good, no one seemed to mind all the bad ones that got me there.